Bobbing World

Taxi Uncle (AGAIN)

2009-10-03T02:55:00.000-07:00

uncle: Evening, miss..where to ah?

me: *flick hair* Sin Ming Avenue, please. The prawn-ing place. D'ya know where issit?

uncle: Haaa?! *look at me using the rear view mirror* Sims Avenue go do pron ah??

me: *flick hair and roll eyes* yeah..prawn. D'ya know?

uncle: aiyoh, so havoc ah... what pron?? prono movie ah??? Sims avenue got prono studio ah?? Havoc girl lerr you!

me: *hysterical fit* OMFG!!!!!!!!!! PRAWNING uncle! It's SIN MING Avenue not Geylang, Sims Avenue. I'm a decent girl! and by the way, it's PORNO not prono!

uncle: ohhhh catch PRON ahhh... I heard salahhh, sorry ahhh. Teehee.

URGHHHHHHH!!! when you thought Ris Low engrish is bad!!!

Be an Ass

2009-08-05T06:24:00.000-07:00

It was 3.26pm my phone rang. I was not in my best of mood and I swear I heard this...

me: yah?

B: Hi, Good afternoons, my name is Michelin calling froms Ahrerbeeass

me: who? Michelin? Wah!

B: I'm Michelin from Ahrehbeeass.

me: I'm sorry, I don't get you. Where?

B: sorry, my name is... Michelin and I'm calling from Ahrehbeeass.

me: I know you are Michelin. Where? What??? I don't understand you and your accent. What ass?

B: Ah Reh Bee Ass, sir. The Royarw Bank Of Scotlands.

me: Ohhh... RBS. Yes?

B: Yes, sir. Ahrer-bee-ass. I wanna to offer you...

me: *hung up*

Michelin from Ahrehbeeass, I am sorry!

Like I said, I was not in my best of mood *flick hair*

W

2009-07-31T08:01:00.000-07:00

So, a big warm welcome to Miss Alanis Yang who came all the way from Timbuktu, USA to Singawhore where the land is hawt and slightly moist I mean, humid.

Twistties asked me if I'm going to the gym tomorrow, which is *shriek* Saturday..I was like, what??? Speechless. Who goes to the gym on weekends? In this part of the world, drinking IS the weekend sport and the only form of sport I religiously play *flick hair*

and suddenly I started to sing...

We are Singawhore, we are Singawhore
We will stand together, and you'll hear my pussy roar

OMFG!!! What's happening to me???!

*SHRIEK*

My name is Ivana Sukalongkok

and

I live in Whoreland Village,

Singawhore?!

What's happening to me????????????!

I need to wake up from this dirty dream!

*faint*

Get Sexy!

2009-07-29T04:35:00.000-07:00

OMFG! ! !

Highly suspicious that this song is inspired by nobody, nobody but me *clap clap* ooopsie... I mean *flick hair*

If I had a dime, for every single time, these boys stop and stare, I'd be a billionaire!

xoxo

Frogalicious

2009-07-24T00:34:00.000-07:00

Frog: Salamaaaaaabeeeeeeeech

Me: call me chio bu!

Frog: Send me Fergalicious!

Me: send to you? the mp3? that's Piracy *flick hair*

Frog: EEEEEEEEEEEEE.
Salamaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaabeeeeeeeeeeech.

Obviously, our dear frog has limited vocabulary.

Wonder why he wants the song horr... damn random lei.

issit because it's sounds like Frogalicious???!

OMG!!! I think it is becos it's sounds like Frogalicious!

It can be the theme song for all frog leg porridge in all the lorong in Geylang!!!

Frogalicious!
So delicious
(It's hot, hot)
So delicious
(I put them boys on rock, rock)
So delicious
(They want a taste of what I got)
I'm Frogalicious
(T-t-tasty, tasty)

Frogalicious def-
Frogalicious def-
Frogalicious def-

xoxo

Mr. Bill featuring Lady Grotesque

2009-07-20T08:25:00.000-07:00

and Frog have to remind me about this video AGAIN.

This is what I call ultimate identity crisis. I am sure (almost) everyone know who she is and what her background is.

Okay..let's not talk about that, as religion is suppppppppppper sensitive issue *flick hair*

BUT...

when a chinese... call herself a Geisha, speak chinese with a weird accent, carry a chinese fan, a chinese sword, doing house chore, pony tailed??? Why in the world would you want to stereotype yourself to what most whitey outhere think about us???

Geisha is Japanese!!!

I am so disturbed (AGAIN).

xoxo

FU

2009-07-16T08:02:00.000-07:00

Yeah...so I have not been blogging for 3 years...yes, sue me please!!!

I just want to make my come back a short one...

here it goes...

So, I dress up casually for a dinner with my gurlfriend on Thursday night.

me: *press the elevator*

neighbour: wahhh...looking good ah. Where you going to havoc?

me: Havoc? But, wait me looking good? *flick hair* I know, right? Ahh, nahh...not havoc-ing just a dinner gathering with my friends *flick hair*

neighbour: you so good looking, stay alone...happening ah...

me: *roll eyes* I said... I know, right?! *flick hair* hmmmfph...

neighbour: so, must be alot of girls queueing to be with you laahh???

me: OMFG???!!!!!!!!!!!! Girls????????????!!! Are you accusing me a bloody lesbionic??!!!

*shrieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek*

Urghhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! If I'm am not a lady, he is already dead by now!

HOW DARE CHU! ! !

White Snake Legend

2009-03-24T09:46:00.000-07:00

I just got inked last week and loving it. Now it's super itchy, I guess cos it's healing. Shiru's one too...both of us are like peeling. Feeling like a snake. Im the white snake and Shiru is the green snake *flick hair*

Suddenly, I remember the show, which I watched when i was waaaaaaaaay younger. The White Snake Legend... *shriek*

The white snake lovers was played by a girl which supposed to be a guy errr... Lesbian show lesbian show laaah, why she had to pretend that she got a kukubird?! I was puzzled then.

It was truly the 1st gay movie that I ever watch, a true lesbianese show.

I still even remember the song! OMG!!! Everything that is ladylike confirm will leave a deep impact in my head...*flick hair*

Thank You

2009-03-22T21:36:00.000-07:00

It's my b-day today. I wanna thank you all who has spared their precious time to come and celebrate with me, the presents, the well wishes... I feel so loved.

I definately I can't never thank enuff to those who always always be there for me,

Drunkards nights and emo nights.
Tons of good dinner, holidays, laughters and ofcos stupid misunderstanding.
Secrets we'll take to the grave...well some of it *teehee*
Pictures we'll forever save.
Through thick and thin, always true.
Best friends forever, me and you.

I can't say the names, I'm pretty sure you know who you are... every each n single of you are my precious.

I love you all and BIG thank you...

xoxo

Who Is Jay Ho?

2009-03-19T10:37:00.000-07:00

(Jai Ho)You are the reason that I breathe,(Jai Ho)
You are the reason that I still believe,(Jai Ho)
You are my destiny,
Jay Ho! Uh-uh-uh-oh!
(Jai Ho)No there is nothing that can stop us(Jai Ho)
Nothing can ever come between us,(Jai Ho)
So come and dance with me,
Jay Ho! (oohh)

Jai Ho-Pussycat Dolls

I believe it is said Jai Ho (bravo) horr, Dear Pussies... not Jay Ho from AngMoKio *roll eyes*

xoxo

Phoenix Lee

2009-03-11T09:54:00.000-07:00

Nelly put me as her msn header!!! I always know she adores me!!!!!

Ivana is a phoenix

I know right?! *flick hair*

xoxo

Curious Case of Christina Wang

2009-03-05T21:09:00.001-08:00

Another great (disastrous) movie of the year...

Bread Pittbull as Christina Wang and Cate Heavilysoiled Blanchett as Christina Wang too! OMG! *shriek*

I am soo gonna (not) watch the show!

X-tina, X-tina... you look pretty (awful) there!

X-tin, is dat chu???!

Keep it up, gurl! *air kiss*

Lotsa love,
your BFF

Christina Wang in Slumbitch

2009-03-05T02:19:00.000-08:00

The feel-good film of the decade... NOT!!!

rated 1 star (out of sympathy) by Prata Telor Journal.

xoxo

Addicted to FB

2009-03-05T01:02:00.000-08:00

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!

What happened??? Few hours???!!!!!

OMG!!!

My both hands are trembling, I feel the earth move under my feet and the sky is tumbling down!!

OMG!!! HELLP!!

I want to anyhow tag people pictures and make fun at Christina Wang look! What am I gonna do in this few hours???!!! Christina needs to be humiliated!!! MUST! She's dying for it!

OMG

*faint*

It's Ahpao Happy Day

2009-03-04T01:54:00.000-08:00

Ahpao, 3 years ago... when she was 26 years old.

Ahpao, Now...2009

Happy Sweet 29th, Ahpao! ! !

Wish you all the best... how time flies, my little xiaodi is not so little anymore now...

Huge hugs 'n kisses...

You've Been Tagged

2009-03-02T21:17:00.000-08:00

You know how amazing Facebook is...

within seconds I upload a photo album in my facebook, I saw this...

How thoughtful one can get?!

Awwww..so touched *roll eyes*

xoxo

Tears In Heaven

2009-03-02T09:20:00.000-08:00

You have gone for a year, Pi...

Suddenly I thought of this song. Tears in Heaven by Eric Clapton

''Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven
Will it be the same
If I saw you in heaven
I must be strong, and carry on
Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven

Would you hold my hand
If I saw you in heaven
Would you help me stand
If I saw you in heaven
I'll find my way, through night and day
Cause I know I just can't stay
Here in heaven

Time can bring you down
Time can bend your knee
Time can break your heart
Have you begging please
Begging please

Beyond the door
There's peace I'm sure.
And I know there'll be no more...
Tears in heaven

Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven
Will it be the same
If I saw you in heaven
I must be strong, and carry on
Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven

Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven.''

I had a dream about you, 2 days ago...you came and asked me...how are you, son? I woke up with tears. After awhile, I went back to sleep again... and there you are again, you told me you just want to say Hello. So, I woke up again..cried. Then, I went fall asleep again, there you are again. You walk away... then you turned and wave goodbye.

In the morning, big sis n 2nd sis called... to tell me about their dreams that they saw you. Same thing, same dream... but you were in very light red shirt when you were in my dream (guess, you know my fave colour huh). You wore a white shirt when you came to their dream.

Papi... I guess Eric Clapton is wrong huh... I'm sure you would know my name
if you saw me in heaven and it will be the same if you saw me in heaven...

you will, right? :(

til we meet again...

Caught In The Act

2009-02-27T21:09:00.000-08:00

Spotted, Nelly Lohan Kwok having a gathering on a Friday night.

xoxo

Offer Nissim

2009-02-25T00:30:00.000-08:00

Super drama opening act... totally most memorable party for me *flick hair offer nissim style*

and to those that forgot Epiphony was having a live performance there... here is the video

xoxo

Nelly Lohan

2009-02-23T08:49:00.000-08:00

I have a sister, her name is Nelly.

She bang her head to a glass door last week becos she got too drunk.

Now, her head is swollen. She reminds me of the Lohan.

not this Lohan

This Lohan... teeeheee

Nelly oh Nelly, why you always drunk.

You know I love you...

xoxo

Welcome Home

2009-02-19T07:16:00.000-08:00

The Mummies are back!!!

wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!

Welcome home to the sunny, sterile island of Singaporeeee!!!

Can't wait to whack Shiru!!! *whack whack*kick kick*

xoxo

License to Kill

2009-02-18T21:06:00.001-08:00

I lost my license, it's been a month. 23 more months til I can re-take everything. OMG!!!!

Urghhh. I just drink driving NOT drunk driving worrr. BLEAAAAAAAH..

banned those aunty from driving lah.. I bet they're more hazardous to others than us, the alcoholic! Ggrrrr...

anyhoo..

Nowadays, I have been taking ALOT of taxis...either I politely ask (read:force) my ladies friend to drive me around or I flag for taxis.

I HATE THEM (the taxis)..they smell funky! ! ! I swear!

3 days ago, I agreed to meet Frog, Coconut and Curry for movie at Great World City.

2 days ago, Frog told me, before her sleep, that she has changed the venue to Vivo city, cos she wants to go Daisho to get her CHEAP household thingie.

yesterday evening, I put on my not-so-semi best dress, heels and I flag a cab...

I: *flick hair* Heyy, sir... Vivo City please...
T: You wanna go which way, miss?
I: *irritated* the assoonaspossible route
T: so, it's I u-turn laaah?

urghhh... you are the taxi driver lerr!!!

*drive drive*

T: so, miss..which taxi stand you want me to drop you???
I: haaa?? the one says VIVO city laaah!! Did I say Changi Airport????
T: ohh okay.

ANGGGRY!!

and when we finally reached the destination...I call coconut to ask where are they.

I: Where are you all?? I'm like lost...I'm near Giant.
C: Huhh?? Where is that?
I: Vivocity, riiight?
C: Haaaa...GREAT WORLD city laaah...

OMG!!!!!!!!!! I swear I want to kill frog!!! Stuuuuuuuuuupid!! I should have not talk to him before his BED-TIME!!! *stomp feet*

so, I get on ANOTHER cab

I: Heyyy *flick hair* Great World City, please
T: Okay, miss...

awhile later:

T: so, which taxi stand you want to stop at, miss??
I: OMG!!!!!!! how many taxi stands are there...2 ONLY right?? Whichever on the way and you don't have to make a detour lorrr.
T: Ohh...zion road one then.
I: Then??? Still ask?!

Urghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! KILLLL MEEEEE!!!

at this point, I was super angry with frog for telling me two different CITY!!! at the taxi drivers who asked alot of question and to the singapore mall developer..what's with mall name with CITY in it?? city HALL, vivo CITY, veloCITY, great world CITY, CITYlink...farklahh!!! eeeekkk...irritating!!!

I want my license baaaaaack!!!! 23 FREAKING MONTHS MORE TO GO!!!

JIU MING AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Happy Birthday, Papi

2009-02-14T23:24:00.000-08:00

My phone alarm went off last nite. A reminder to give my dad a call... today is his birthday. Sigh, they don't have roaming service upthere? Fax? E-mail? Mailbox?

I asked myself this morning, do people celebrate their loved ones birthday, even after they long gone?

Hmmm...

Christmas, we celebrate JC birthday, he is 2009 years old already. So, why can't I wish you too, right? Right.

Happy Birthday, Papi...

I really really really miss you...

Big hugs.

Friday the 13th vs V-day

2009-02-13T00:48:00.000-08:00

Crazy just wished me a Happy V-day on Friday the 13th. Errr..yeahh! *hide*

I know Friday the 13th is like your big day or something, but Valentine's day to normal people like us, it's still February the 14th. Not even for an hour or in your case, a day earlier. Alright, missy?

oh anyway.

Happy V-day in advance to you too, Miss Crazy *shriek*

Happy Happy Joy Joy! ! !

2009-02-11T07:20:00.000-08:00

I got my new toys! ! ! !

OMG ! ! ! ! ! ! *shriek*flick hair*shriek*

Finally, I have decided on Canon EOS 50D, after long gruelling days! ! !

I am so going on shooting rampage!

Christina Wang... I know you love me. AWAS!!!!! *teehee*roll eyes*snap snap snap*puke*

and also Street Fighter IV game!!!! double OMG! ! ! ! ! ! !

busy busy days ahead!

xoxo

Out of My Skin-Offer Nissim

2009-01-28T08:27:00.000-08:00

"All my life,
I was fighting
My way out of my skin
All my life
I've been hiding
The girl I'm within
Till I saw you
And I had to let myself go
Till I saw you,
And I had to let myself go..."

I super love this song! ! ! !

I wonder what's the lyrics means... a lady boy song??! or it's about a closet case... oh well...super love is the word for this song!

xoxo

Gong Xi Fa Cai ! ! !

2009-01-24T22:20:00.000-08:00

Everytime I refresh my facebook... I see these on my friends status...:

Must resist....must not touch that bak kua lah then don't want to eat the pineapple tarts cos one tart calorie is around 100000000000000 calories. Then Miss so'n'so went to combat cos tonite she is having reunion dinner.

cb..annoying cannn. Not as if you are the size of an island!

please, come on lah people! it's CNY!! What's there without over stuffing yourself til stupid..*flick hair*

Eat the bakwa! Eat the tarts and please stuff yourself with the food...

eat, DRINK all you want and be merry...lets worry about the calories later on.

as for me... I'm gonna eat alot alot alot of dust that I can tonight and til then...

HAPPY MOOOOOOOOOOO YEAR!!

HUATTT AHHHH

xoxo

Fatty Fatty Boom Boom

2009-01-22T15:20:00.000-08:00

I have been 'away' for ages from blogging. I wake up at 7am *shriek* and found myself humming to this song whole morning. Went to Google it and found.

I want to lelicate dis song to my favorite xiao di... miss P.A. Thaaaance!

Lets sing a long, people... a classic by Carl Malcom.

I know you miss me...
XOXO

P.S *flick hair*

Merry Christmas Ajuma Style ! ! !

2008-12-08T11:08:00.000-08:00

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Marry's Classical Christmas

2008-12-04T10:37:00.001-08:00

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Marry's Country Christmas! ! !

2008-12-04T10:25:00.001-08:00

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Marry's Disco Christmas!

2008-12-04T10:18:00.001-08:00

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Pet Elite Society

2008-11-28T20:27:00.000-08:00

Everybody in Facebook should join Pet Society... it's a stupid, addictive (just the way we like it) and IT'S FARKING GIRLY...WHEEEEEEEEE!!!

I have a pet, her name is Nehnehpok aka Priscilla aka Hermione Gaynger from Fagwarts School of Bitchcraft. She lives in Upper East Side (Manhattan, hmmm, LADYHATTAN somehow sounds better) *flick hair*. Her activities are visiting friends for a dance, tell jokes, kiss kiss, watching Gossip Girls on tv and ofcourse, shopping! ! !

She got 5 sidekicks, Bootyboobs, Boobies, Tua Neh (it's not complete without an Asian girl in any drama isn't it), Boobsirella and Boobyshake who adores her to the core. Ohh...and she got a stepsister, Swan, who is poor and sad. How hollywood can it be, right???

Nehnhepok: I know you love me.... xoxo

Royal KKJ !

2008-11-24T19:43:00.000-08:00

OMG! ! ! *shriek*cover eyes*peep*

click HERE

xoxo

Missy and Me

2008-11-14T01:49:00.000-08:00

What's with me and service people today... or since yesterday.

I supposed to make an appoinment for Vicky's chiro, since she is in Shanghai now, so I have to make a call to her chiro and see the earliest slot they can give her.

Missy: Hi, Good Morning... Sexyback Chiro, How can I helpchu?

Me: *pause*flick hair* Heyy... I want to make appoinment for my sister who is currently in overseas. She's coming back tonight. If it's possible, it'sfor tomorrow...she is in pain...

Missy: I'm sorry, it's kinda pull. There are pipteen people on my list. Why not I check and I call you buck once there is constellation. Ok?

Me: *pause*scratch head* Ohh, right..ofcourse. If there is CANCELATION. My name is Ivana..and here is my number 9******0. Thank you.

Missy: *going on hysterical fit* OMG!!! You are sooo pretty. I wanna be chu, I ken nut bread...

Me: Yeah, I know... Breathe, girl. Breathe. You can not be me, NEVER! *hung up*flick hair*

and 2nd incident...

I was on the way to the gym, to do my eyes cardio ... and I heard the song that I have been hearing on radio.

so, I memories the line and I determined to find the song in THAT cd shop at paragon before my gym session.

Me: Hi, miss... can you help me to find this song that goes...*humming the song*flick hair*

Can't keep my hands, my hands, my, uh, my
Can't keep my hands, my hands my hands out the cookie jar...

Missy: Errr.. cookie jar?? *giggle* No, miss. Sowree, I dont noe da song. Perhaps you want udder albam?

Me: Ahh...alright. Nevermind. I don't want other album. Thanks *flick hair*

I went home...quickly ran to my pc and type the lyrics at google...

the result came out: COOKIE JAR by Gym Class Heroes.

URGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. OMG! ! ! WTF???!!!! STUUUUPID BEECH!

*kick kick*

Kopibin & Tea Leap

2008-11-13T06:29:00.000-08:00

Was at Kopibin this afternoon...

Missy: Hi, miss..how can I helpchu?

Me: *flick hair* Heyyyy...can I have caeser salad and a large iced americano please... *pose*

Missy: You wan the scissor salad with kitchen, miss?

HUH??? WTF??!KITCHEN??!!!

I was on the verge of pulling her hair when she said that. Did I heard it wrongly??!! Do I want my caesar salad with kitchen?? U think what???!!! CB!!! I just had a little too much of dust recently... so what if I have put on 2 grams! Now, I can eat my salad with the whole bloody kitchen???! You salamapeech! *sonofabitch*

Me: *pause*flick hair*

Oh yes, please..I want my caesar salad with chicken

*curtsy*

xoxo

It's Shania Yeo Happy Day ! ! !

2008-11-09T18:19:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday, Datin Shania Yeo...

xoxo

Go Obama!

2008-11-04T20:36:00.000-08:00

Obama is the next US president!!! YAY...

Do you know Obama used to live in dustland...OMG! and his stepfather is from Dustland??! and a halfsister who is a half dustlander...obviously *teehee*

I think we can be BFF, since we both from dustland..well.. not compeletely true..but who cares right? Right.

HellOooOo...coffee, tea or chicken satay??

So, does this make him got Asian blood?! yes, no? yes? no? no.

Such a historical moment... *flick hair*wipe tears*

so, miss Tioman gave me this question, will the name 'White House' stays? well..they can change the name to CMYK House ? or Wide House so sounds similar, it is a wide house right?! Just like when Darkie change their branding to Darlie... can lah hor, what say you??

Champagne, Champagne...champagne for everybody!

It's AK Happy Day

2008-11-02T23:55:00.000-08:00

Happy Burstday! ! !

xoxo

Happy Halloweeeeeeeeeeeeen ! ! !

2008-10-31T01:10:00.000-07:00

I was so so happy about the idea of having dinner at Oscars to celebrate Mrs. Harrold's bday... Oscars was one of our usual makan place. So, we thought..hey lets go there again, for good ol' time.

Psyche myself, this time I am gonna eat my dinner, NOT drink my dinner!

Wheeeeeeeeeee...

took my salmon sashimi, fresh oysters and prawns... *chew chew chew* Gosh, it is weird to chew my dinner... gulping my dinner it's so much easier ! *flick hair*

it's a little awkward at first but after awhile, I was kinda get used to the chewing idea...

then I turn my head and I saw this fella and overheard what he said...

OMFG! ! ! Suddenly, I remember why i stopped eating!! *shriek*

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*faint*
*thud*

After fainted for 3 mins, I wake up..fix my hair... I just lost my appetite *sobs*

the rest of the night, we just busy taking pictures, opening prezzie and chat the night away. Next thing we know... *shriek* it was already close to midnight... lets go home before we turn into pumpkin?!! but then again, who am I kidding right..im not cinderella...im a princess *flick hair*

Mrs. Harrold insited for a puff before we proceed home... so we went out to the lobby area and we saw a pontianak, wait not one but TWO PONTIANAKS *shriek*

but wait a minute...there's something strange about the 2... OMG...they are the PWD!!!!
Pontianak with dick ! ! !

on the extreme left, there he was their prince ohnotsocharming of the night... waiting to be devoured by the 2 hungry PWD. The pic above not so clear, my hand was shaking tremendeously as I am afraid of hantus!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN, peeps!

xoxo

It's Ahmui Harrold Happy Day ! ! !

2008-10-29T08:51:00.000-07:00

HAPPY SWEET 17th ! ! ! ! !

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE ! ! *clap hands*

million kisses and hugs...

xoxo

Paris For President

2008-10-27T22:32:00.000-07:00

She's highlarious! ! !

Your commander in bikini !

xoxo

Sweet Sensation

2008-10-23T05:11:00.000-07:00

Victoria sent me this videoclip...gosh!!! Memories... it was 18 years ago! Feels just like yesterday. I was barely 3 *cough*flick hair* years old back then.

Watch the clip...daaaaaaamn drama can!!! The make-up, the dance, the wind blows, the rain... wheeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

Even this was taken 18 years ago, I can tell you guys..back in dustland, the make-up, hairdo and dance move is still in...*giggle*

Dont you just love 3rd world??! I do! Krisdayanti (google it) today, still look like the lead singer *nod nod*wipe tears*

and Shiru, just had the same colour lipstick 2 weeks ago, only... Sweet Senspiration I tell you!

and this is My version of Sweet Sensation... Imagine my 3 bff's doing the video above??? *clap hands*

Originally, Christina Wang was one of the members..but the producer (which is me) insisted on the same height girls. Sorry, lurve! You have to go *muacks*

xoxo

Roach Kill

2008-10-21T20:18:00.001-07:00

Last night at around 11ish pm, I decided to went to bed early. Brushed my teeth, washed my face, basic moisturised it with my fave cream, then I put on my jammies and on my fave dvd series (Samantha Who?). Not for long... I dozing off to lalaland. I switch off my pc screen and ZzzZzzzZz...

After awhile, I wake up and tot it's already morning... just like any princess do, I wake up to stretch and yawn a little. I turn my head and look at my clock to my horror it's only 2.15AM! ! ! *shriek*

URGHHHH, WTF???! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE... I need my beauty sleep lerrr! What happened?????!!! *flick hair frantically*

But, like any princess do, first thing they do when they wake-up is go to the toilet to have a wee-wee. That's right, emptying your bladder is good.

WAIT A MINUTE *shriek* Now I know why they call it wee-wee. It is 'pee in a wee hours!' CB!!!!! I don't need to wee-wee I just want to sleeeeep. Urghh

Sashaying my way to the toilet, fyi, my house is huge, my room to my toilet there is different time zone. Just imagine it, okay. I am a princess *pose*

Anyhoo, this is not the main thing for this entry...

*sashay sashay pout pout* suddenly.... BOB! Something land on my face... OH MY LARD!!! It's a cockroach!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *shriek*faint*shriek*flick hair*faint very ungraciously* It's sooooooooo freaking huge it's the size of a minibus! I am so not exageratting. Land straight to my face... I flick it off...it land on the floor and start to...FLY!!! HORROR!! A flying cockroach minibus!!!! This is like the scene in Harry Potter after he had too much pot.

anyhoo, let me continue my screaming...

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Farking hell... I ran to the kitchen cabinet, grab Baygon, spray at least half a bottle of it to the bloody 'kecoa'. My whole kitchen floor was slippery cos of the spray. I watch the cockroach die slowly but surely. Wheeeeeeeeeeee... *clap hands*

then... suddenly in the corner of my eye, I saw something flying. WTF????!!!! Another one???!!! ATTACK OF FLYING COCK*giggle*ROACHES ! ! ! ! This time, it's the size of A380!! I can even see some aircrew inside its body serving meals!! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! My heart pumping really really fast..it's like I just swallowed the whole jug of espresso!

I don't know why but this one seems like really flying towards to get me. Like, I can even hear it saying, you just killed my homo partner!! You bf killer!!! *fly fly flap flap*attack attack*

So, there I was, with baygon in my hand spraying at it non-stop!! Spray-run-spray-run-pose-run-spray and the thing just kept on flying. OMG!!! I thought only cats has 9 lives. Cock*giggle*roach has 9 too??? It's really like a movie! You know, in cheap flick movie, with one stab, a calafare will just die. Meanwhile the main actor/badass will got stabbed, punched, fell from 1000 storey building will still be alive and fine. That was exactly what happened to the 2nd roach... still flying strong and fly here n there, despite I had sprayed the left over half bottle of Baygon. Gosh... til death do us part or what??! I meant it to the moroach (homo cockroach).

Urghhhh...after awhile. I watch it drop to the floor, wiggle wiggle and mati it went the avengeful moroach. Clap hands, wheeeeeeeeeeeeee. Guess, now the 2 are happily ever after in their moroach heaven. EEeewwww...*shudder*

and the result, I have to go on a cleaning spree at 3am. Mop the floor. Pour detol everywhere. Spray lysol too. Ofcos, have a proper burial for the 2 lovey dovey dead couple in a dumpster.

Went shower again, I scrub myself like nobody business. Basic moisturised myself again. Put on new set of jammies. Lay down in bed and stay awake til 5am, traumatized. Bloody hell, so much for an early night.

CB!! I HATE COCKROACHES...even thou their name is COCKroach *wiggle wiggle eh wrong it's shudder*flick hair*

Urghhhhhhhh!!! That's it... I'm gonna buy those poison thingie to kill all the roaches in this building! Cockroach, pussyroach, lesroach, moroach!! Die..all must die!!!!!!!!!!!!!

meanwhile,

xoxo

Shiru Doo Doing The Do

2008-10-20T09:55:00.000-07:00

Shiru is going for her job interview tomorrow (later) as kopisoh at So&So.co...

Good luck, girl ! ! ! ! It is a perfect job for you.

Don't forget the lipstick...*barf*

It is just soooo puuuurrrfect for the job! Wheeeeeeeeeeeee...

xoxo

Middle Names

2008-10-17T06:37:00.000-07:00

Recently I came across to people with 'fancy' names... they have like, 3 middle names.

i.e

Aaron Nevil Darren.

like, wtf?? so what should I call you??? Aaron, Nevil, Darren OR Confused? *roll eyes*

Like, watevs!

A: hi, my name is Ivana Tiffany Rhonda Cynthia Christina Mammamia Darren...you can call me, Pretty *flick hair* So, what's yours?

xoxo

Theme or Not To Theme

2008-10-13T22:15:00.000-07:00

I lurve theme party... aren't we all? *flick hair*

Put aside the headache to find the perfect costume, make-up and all..but yeah, it is a fun thing to do.

*click click click*scroll scroll scroll*flick flick flick*

Ahjie's Salah Party.

Halloween @ Zouk

Twisties Ang' Necklace party.

Brucilinda's Shades o' Drama.

Gila's NO THEME party. Where everybody came as themselves *flick hair*

Daisy Wong's Tie Me Down Party.

and the recent, Wati Hoe's Chinois Chic part...

*click*

*enlarge*

*shriek*

*faint*

*shriek*

Wassup with the lipstick, gurrrrlllll..throw that thing away can?!!! *shriek* You sure u got the theme right?

It's Chinois not Wayang Chic! ! ! ! you pretty sure it was not an allergic reaction right??? Told you not to go JB to buy lipstick anymore! *triple shriek*

anyhoo,

I super lurve theme party but ofcourse with perfect costume and make-up *look at shiru, roll eyes and flick hair* What's wrong wif chu, gurllll????

Uhhmm, yeah. Theme party. D'ya luv it??!! I lurve it. Whose next??? *flick hair*

xoxo

It's Happy Day to My Princesses

2008-10-13T21:46:00.000-07:00

I know it's a little too late to wish my princess friends a Happy Burstday on my blog..cos I have been busy flicking hair and pouting this past few weeks but better be late than never, rite? Rite.

anyhoo...

Happy Burstday Miss Tioman (12/10) and Ahtoet (10/10) ! ! !

and Wati Hoe, Xiao Jie... (13/10)...

Love you 3 deep deep ! ! ! Many happy daaaay!

xoxo

Long Time No Blog

2008-10-13T19:20:00.000-07:00

It's been awhile since I last blog... I'm losing it, totally no blogspiration to blog.

HOoOOOOooOOw???!!

Once I get my blogspiration back I'm gonna do a blog-a-thon! Blog like there is no tomorrow!

Meanwhile...

*ohmmmmmmm*

xoxo

Best Anno Ying MTV 2008

2008-09-24T21:08:00.000-07:00

OMG OMG! ! !

I finally I found the MTV of the Anno Ying Sisters on youtube! ! ! The Anno Ying Sisters has been one of my favourite icon on my msn... ha ha ha ha ! !

Now enjoy the mtv ! ! How can I not share something so good with my sisters, right?

all together now..

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA ! ! !

xoxo

It's Swanden Ng Happy Day! ! !

2008-09-24T09:16:00.000-07:00

Happy 5oth Birthday Swanden Ng pka* Frogden Ng!!!!

*previously known as*

Have a great one!! Looking forward for the dinner later...wheeeeeeee!!!!

Millions hugs and kisses...

Best MTV ! ! !

2008-09-23T21:24:00.000-07:00

Miss Tioman sent me this link...

warning: it's highly addictive

BEST BEST BEST BEST MTV! ! ! ! Farkling Highlarious! ! !

Better than a double espresso!

I wonder who are they... Puki Mouse and the Chipmunks from China?

It's really THE BEST OMG WTF MTV of THE YEAR *shriek*

BEST OMG WTF COSTUMEISTHAT *shriek*

BEST OMG WTF SONGISTHAT *shriek*

pay attention to their faces...especially the back-up dancer (yes, the one in orange, she is not a bobbing mandarin orange with hair) who try very very hard to look sexy... Wahahaha...

OMG, gurl... There's no way you can look sexy!

Fast forward to 3:40, it's worth it... check out the guy dance move. Classic!

xoxo

EPS

2008-09-23T09:57:00.000-07:00

They finally implemented the Electronic Parking System at the Whoreland Avenue Car Park since Monday.

It means no more aunties prawling around the carpark!!!! No more reason to get summon. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeee...

but wait, is that means my friends can't cheat 50cents/halfanhour liao????

That's shucks...

xoxo

OOops... I Dit It Again! ! !

2008-09-22T09:39:00.000-07:00

I fell asleep at around 12.39am... and I think I just sleep walk! ! ! *shriek*

cos I found 2 empty packets of instant noodle and and empty bowl ! ! !

I might have accidentally cook and eat it in my sleeeep...

OMG!!!!! I need helllllllppppp....

Fat Fighters here I come ! ! !

Hello World

2008-09-22T06:04:00.000-07:00

Finally, I can sync my new phone to my pc and retrieve all the contacts back. Wheeeeeeeeee.... with my own efforts. Gosh.... I am like pretty n brainy... *flick flick flick hair*

Watchout people, I'm back and soooo going on a roaring rampage to terrorize you all when I am bored, which is nearly 24 hours... *flick hair*

After 2 days of gruelling trial and error trying to sync my phone to my pc. Damn frustating, cos I can't seem to get it done (the sync-ing part). Keep getting error message, even after re-installing the PC Suite for at least 6 times. So, I decided to call Nokia help-line (why I never think of it sooner, right?)

As you all know... most of product help-line operators are from the 3rd world... Some of them are so profesional and good but the one I encountered this time is the most 'helpful' lady, I can even hear tv noise in the back-ground...perhaps she was doing house-work at the same time.

me: like, hellOOooOO

F: hello, miss..good apternoon. How can help you?

me: I'm like having trouble, can?

F: Oh my gawd...you are miss Ipana, I can recognise your poiss... *shrieking*

me: relax, girl...do your job. My phone is E71 can you help me please...

F: You hold the line miss. I will help you... I will transper the call to someone who knows the product better than me...

me: Sure... *flick hair*

15 mins of flicking hair later... she put me on hold with the music that very elevatorishkennyGish's...

then to my horror...

F: doooo doooo doooo dooooo

that BEECH!!! she hang up on me!!!! Urghhhhhhhhhhh...

anyway, I heard they caught someone on Saturday while in action stealing phones at the same place I lost mine, from some 3rd world too. I guess they're here on shopping spree, their 3rd world term of SHOPPING?? *roll eyes*

Don't steal from me laaah... I also from 3rd world whaaattt...bloody cb!

anyway... I love my new phone. wheeeeeeeee...

xoxo

Bon Voyage N95. I hate losing phones! ! ! !

2008-09-19T11:45:00.000-07:00

Dear friends,

I lost my phone today. Someone took it from my pocket and worst of all...I was sober!!!

Someone warned us that there was a pickpocket prawling around, few people already lost their belonging. Next thing I know, I am the next victim. . . and it got to be happened in one of my favourite place to hangout. Urghhhh

I'm fucking upset. =(( Send me your number if you know me personally to my facebook account e-mail.

Thank you...

and YOU, who took my phone!!! Fark you!!!

Your dearest Princess.

xoxo

Virus Alert

2008-09-17T22:35:00.000-07:00

WTF???!!

This is a disclaimer, It is soOooOOOooooO so not me to write something like this on people's wall *flick hair*

Even on facebook there are viruses???!! *shriek* Can I like, spray dettol to my pc or something???! *flick hair*

oooohhhh I know!!! Feed alcohol to it?? Alcohol kills germs...OMG!!! I'm like soooo brilliant!

I hate the new facebook interface...bring back the old one lerr! ! ! !

xoxo

Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Red Polka Dot

2008-09-17T07:50:00.000-07:00

I am so not an outdoor person. I have said it and I am gonna say it AGAIN. Please please remind me that!

The last time I did an outdoor thingie, I fell down and hurt myself at ECP... boo hoo hoo. Bleah!

Last Sunday, I went to Km-8... I got bitten by sandflies. Why me???!!! Now, my body is filled with dots, I'm like wearing a polka dot dress *shriek* Who wear polka dot these days right?? Urghhh... It's super itchy can!!

Bernadette Ong said maybe because I have the sweetest blood. Like, it's soooo true right??! Right.

Next outdoor outing, I will wear big hat, huge sun glasses and long sleeves.... but, wait...OMG!!! I will end up like those parking summon aunties!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE *thud*faint*

Miss Kimchi Lee

2008-09-15T11:28:00.001-07:00

Danny is travelling tonight on a plane
I can see the red tail lights heading for Seoul
Oh and I can see Danny waving goodbye
God it looks like Danny, must be the clouds in my eyes...

Ajuma, come back sooooooooooooooon! ! !

xoxo

I Heart Pao

2008-09-15T11:28:00.000-07:00

so, Ahpao came as a biker chick on Saturday to our dinner gathering. Victoria thinks Pao look like Olivia Newton John in Grease, which I agree... like, totally. Like, I know right?!

Pig said the get-up make her look like a lesbonian... he even call her a dyke.

OMG! ! ! Like, OH MY GAWD! ! ! She can be the next BIG dj.... Pao van Dyke!!! *shriek*

Grease Mega Mix featuring Miss Char Kway Teow by Pao Van Dyke ! ! ! ! OMG!!! I am soooo seeing a HUGE (if you know what I mean) hit on its way *flick hair*wiggle wiggle*

xoxo

OML!

2008-09-08T09:23:00.000-07:00

I don't have the habit of stocking up food at home, let me explain to you why...

I did a little bit of grocery shopping today to stock up my toiletteries and bought some food to add colours to my fridge...

now is 12.25 am...

and I just had a tiny accident. I walked to my bathroom and fell down cos of the slippery floor and half of the fridge fell into my mouth and I had no choice but to swallow it...

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

half loaf of the bread gone missing, 4 eggs are missing, 4 kiwis are missing, 6 bananas are missing and a carton of soya bean.

and I had ~~lasagna~~ dust for dinner...

OH MY LARD!!!!!!!!!!!! urghhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I don't eat, can I puke it out???!!! I drink my dinner...

Poor me, I'm so accident prone...

Bleaaah

It's Alexis Tan Happy Day ! ! !

2008-09-07T00:26:00.000-07:00

Alexis opening her present... *jumping up 'n down*

it's a bird? it's a plane?

it's BANANA! ! ! ! *shriek*clap hands*

Happy Birthday, M. Alexis Tan ! ! ! ! ! ! !

millions xoxo

When A Pussy Loves A Bird

2008-09-05T00:32:00.000-07:00

I never been a pussy person, as you all know right... *giggle*flick hair*

So, I was sitting down with Shiru at Dempsey, enjoying a bottle or 2 or 3 of whites on a cooling afternoon at 5pm-ish. There came along a scrawny but cute (?) pussy..she was meow-ing and giving me the 'feedmeplease imthirstytoo i'maalcholicpussycat' look... so ofcourse, I don't want to give right..we only have 1 bottle... it's not even enough for myself...

meow (read:beg) all you want, puss... *flick hair*

or thirsty?

anyhoo...

suddenly I saw that the pussy was holding something in her mouth... oohhh.. is that what I think it is? a tiny helpless little bird?? I walk over to her to pay a closer attention..ohhh it is a bird. Tweety, is that chu???! Are you acting dead, why you never move? So sweet...

Pussy don't eat bird, right? or more like, they just don't eat..IF they do, they just eat grass, stone and sometimes dust. They only lurve playing with birds. Like, I do *giggle*flick hair* Right???

To my horror... suddenly I heard something that sounds like a bone cracking and I turn my head to see...*shriek* The baaad pussy is chewing the bird! ! ! *crunch crunch*chomp chomp chomp*

and within seconds...the poor bird has turn into this... *shriek*

but ofcourse,right.. what am I talking about? Pussies do eat birds... Pussies love BIRDs...*giggle*

OMG! ! !

xoxo

It's Suz I Suz Happy Day !

2008-09-02T10:23:00.000-07:00

Happy birthday, suz ! ! !

xoxo

O M G !

2008-09-02T09:41:00.000-07:00

OMG OMG OMG!!! I just wet myself and I need a diaper! ! !

In time like this... I just forgot that I'm a conservative good catholic girl! ! ! *shriek*wiggle wiggle*

I don't practise favoritism and I hate to choose, so can I like, have both of them????!! I have died and gone to 3-gy heaven! *shriek*

xoxo

L-O-V-E

2008-09-01T21:19:00.000-07:00

I think I am in love. I saw this guy in the gym, daaaaaaaaaaaamn hot looking. Standing at 180cm...hot hot hot...I think it's like my own reflection or maybe equally hot...don't chu wish your gf was hot like me???! I think the difference is only in our hair, mine is long and flowy and his is short n cropped.

*flick hair*

I think I seriously in love...

He is a kimchi and his surename is Park...

once I am married with him...I will change my name to...Park Queen Astrid or Park Katong Mall? which one is sound more korean??

wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee... Park me ! Park meee...ooops I mean Marry me! Marry me!! *wiggle*

but first, I have to get to know him...

BLEAH!

It's Miss Marikita Chua Happy Day

2008-09-01T20:32:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday, sista! ! ! !

many lurve, kisses n hugs

xoxo

Christina Wang, The Unathourized Biography

2008-08-31T21:25:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time...

in March 1950 to April 1950, Christina Wang got herself in Rafflesia Girl' School ... got kicked out soon after due to her beauty. Apparently half of the school refused to be in same school as her. I wonder why, she is truly a beautiful girl (inside, which I'm sure).

then she move to CHIJ (Convent of wHorish Infant Jessica alba) for few minutes... got kicked out due to her hair too big, she can't even go inside the classroom door.

then in August 1950 she give up studying and she enroll to Nanyang Gerger School as gym clothes hanger... and work there for few years.

in 1980s, Christina Wang decided to go back to school. This time she is with some unknown school that shut down once she joined. Guess it's the mushroom hairdo... it's too offensive.

1986... she took up acting class and she finally made it. She got into her first role (and only) acting debut in Godfather The Movie as a chair.

The End

xoxo

iCurse

2008-08-31T06:53:00.000-07:00

Miss Suz I suz lost her 1 day old iPhone... *shriek* someone actually stole it from her bag that she deposited to the designated bag counter at the Nike 10k run.... urghh, how annoying is that. I can actually feel her pain.

Imagine you trust them with your bag and the people actually took the liberty to ransack your bag and took what is not belong to them???!

Oii, Nike...do something can???! Why you hire thief one??!

Suz, I seriously think, we Indo girls are not destined to do outdoor thing... It is written in our palm...

anyhoo,

damn you, thief... I curse chu... *kick kick*

It's Ahjie Happy Day

2008-08-28T08:47:00.000-07:00

and also too Jian Li, Miss... Many Happy Day!!

Happy Birthday Miss AhJie and Miss Jian Li... many lurve, kiss and hug!

ohh...apparently today is Michael 'tee hee' Jackson (like who?) birthday too... strange, hantu still having birthday meh??? Like, who cares right? *flick hair*

xoxo

Wetnessday Bluez

2008-08-27T10:02:00.000-07:00

I have a super strange reaction towards requests for a date...

A: so, Ivana... when do you want to have dinner with me?
me: *shriek* I don't eat!!!!I drink...ALOT Sure, like, anytime or something, whenever our timing is right? *flick hair*

after finishing up the sentence, next thing I know, I sneeze... and not once at least 2 times...ahhhtchoo...ahhhtchoo...

This happens every single time... shit... am I seriously allergic to dates? Wait, I don't even know when the last time I went for a date was ...or have I ever been on a date? Hmmm....

Miss Swannabe said..it's the reaction due to always being alone and perhaps being too comfy with my clique of friends.

Miss Shiru Doo said the reaction came due to shock, cos there are actually people who want to ask me out... Miss Shiru always attempt to impersonate Kumar's joke... but failed *roll eyes*

anyhoo...

Let me tell you guys what the scenarios of a perfect date should be, in my books:
1. Me n him, in a nice restaurant that booked at least weeks ago cos of their imsoatastillyouneedtoqueuetodineinourrestaurantforweeks persona, with alot of good wine.

2. me and him, sitting by the beach and watching the sunset, with a bottle or 2 or 3 of good wine.

3. me and him, watching our favorite telly/dvd at home on a rainy day with a bottle or 2 or 3 of a good wine.

4. me looking pretty and him cooking a home cooked meal with good wines, ofcourse.

5. me, myself and I and few bottles of booze. Perfect...sneeze free for sure!

none of that ever happened! Bleah... and what's with the sneeze?? Can someone explain it to me, what fcuk kind of reaction is this????

Nobody loves me, everybody hates me, I'm gonna eat some worms...

EMO part deux

no xoxo

Miss Tiffany Making Headlines

2008-08-25T09:19:00.000-07:00

OMG OMG!!!

*click click*

haha..no, I didn't photoshopped all those pic. Now everybody can be photoshop expert!

try, www.photofunia.com. This is fun! ! !

and now for the real-deal...

xoxo

Monday Bluez

2008-08-25T08:40:00.000-07:00

Today, I feel daaamn empty. My mind can't focus on things... it runs wild from A to Z. I hate mondays...

then dinner time...

my aunty called and ask me to go dinner with her. I'm not a big fan of hers, never been and never will be... she talks alot, yak yak yak *kick* to avoid talking with her, I just keep myself busy by swallowing the whole dinner table without chewing... including the plates and cutleries...

now I feel fat, I think I'm the size of Padang. Bleah! but my soul is still empty...

EMO!

Nobody loves me, everybody hates me, I'm gonna eat some worms...

Ahpao Is That Chu?

2008-08-25T07:18:00.000-07:00

Ahpao is mad(ly in love) but I think she is just simply mad. Confirmed. She said she is leaving to Tokyo now to be with LOHL, so I wished him bon voyage and hope she will live happily ever after...

*roll eyes*

anyhoo,

I was driving around town and I saw a bus right infront of me...

*shriek* zham break*take out camera*snap snap*

OMG!!!!!!! Look!! Who's that girl????!!!

*zoom*

*shriek*

Ahhhhhhhhhhhpao!!!

Excuse me, are chu a model??? She ain't heavy, she's my sister!!! 10000lbs beauty!

OMG!!!! Can I hangout wif chu more often?? I got a famous sister lerrrr!!!!!!!!!! *shriek*flick hair*

xoxo

DJ Abang Chua

2008-08-23T22:56:00.000-07:00

My Abang, Patricia Chua aka DJ Pash has new remixes...not one but TWO *shriek*

go and listen... *click click click*

GREAAT STUFFS! *flick hair*

http://dj.wanderlus7.co.uk/?p=14

and

http://dj.wanderlus7.co.uk/?p=15

OMG!!! I'm like polishing my dancing heels now... *doing the wall slide*

xoxo

I Had A Dream

2008-08-22T23:38:00.000-07:00

Last night I had a dream...that I am married to the richest man in Europe soon after we moved in to his castle in Scotland...after 1 week of happy marriage, he locked me up, up high in his castle cos he is too posessive towards me *shriek*

oohh, my dream has it own soundtrack too *click click*flick hair* like, so cool right? right.

again, like, I know right? Who won't be scared to have me as their wife? Long sleek hair, beautiful eyes, red pouty lips...*flick hair* sometimes I even scare myself with my own beauty *shriek*faint graciously*

anyhoo..

out of my loneliness I decided to grow my hair longer (then it already is) so I can let my hair down thru the window til one day my (true) prince charming will come and save me by climbing it.

and in my dream, my prince charming did came to my rescue, not 1 but all of my princes, all my crush in life... OMG!!! *shriek* all of them race up to climb the castle thru my hair (this is pretty similar to Rapunzel's lerr but BETTER cos Rapunzel only got 1 prince and I got many!! wheeeeeeeeeeeeee)... within seconds they all reached the castle and then they start to gang bang me.

then I wake-up...ewwww..this is so not my dream. I ain't no Anabelle Chong!!! I'm a good catholic conservative girl!! *flick hair*

Where is my vodka?? Im traumatised.

xoxo

It's Miss Ahgong Happy Day!

2008-08-21T10:14:00.000-07:00

HAPPY DAY, MISS AHGONG (Allanis Ahgong Loh) ! ! ! ! !

and the birthday season starts.... *hide*

*secretly flicking hair*

xoxo

Christina Wang my BFF

2008-08-21T05:21:00.000-07:00

*flick flick newspaper Classified section*

*flick hair*

*flick newspaper again*

*flick hair*

*shriek*

OMG!!!! Christina Wang, my total BFF is promoting herself...

according to resourcesful source of mine, Christina Wang is staying true to her words by putting 'Satisfaction Guaranteed Or Your Money Back'. hmmm, sounds familiar...have I seen it before? Sounds like GIANT motto, Christina Wang favorite clothing line... hmmm... I wonder...

anyhoo,

99.9% of her customer demand their money back even before her 'service' . ~~I truly wonder why these people still bother? Look at that face!!!~~

and

0.1% just walk away.

Christina!!! I am so proud of chu, even you're not doing so well *barf* in *roll eyes* selling...

xoxo

Freddy Kruger Tan

2008-08-20T21:42:00.000-07:00

Freddy Kruger Tan got caught boinking or riding a boy inside my gym sauna. His excuse perhaps he fell and his kukubird fell into someone poo poo hole?!!!! Ultimate grossness!!! Eeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! ! ! !

Freddy Kruger Tan is THE ultimate cheapo, gross and cheap and gross, did i mentioned cheap? Cheap. Gross? Gross. *puke* flick hair frantically*

If any of you consider my gym (Fitness Satu) is 'expensive', think again... with $138/month for passport membership (Singapore, JB and some say Batam) or $118 for one gym only, you can treat the gym like Freddy Kruger did...max out the facility. Treat it as:

1. Gym.
Your workout place, ofcourse.

2.Office.
Bring your laptop then chop one table and treat it as your office. So, when people asked you where is your office...you can tell them... My office is at Paragon, Ohhhhchard or sometimes at One Raffles Quay, truly depends on my mood...
Glamm worr *roll eyes*

3. Spa.
With sauna that's attached, you can walk in and out ~~everytime you see your prey walked in~~ as many times you want/day.

4. Cafe.
free coffee, tea and softdrinks.

5. Bedroom.
Go figure... *shriek*

OMG!!! Grossssss... I wonder if people like Freddy Kruger Tan is the one who responsible for the word ~~homophobic~~ ladyphobic???!! *shriek*

xoxo

Transformer - Diva in Disguise

2008-08-09T02:01:00.000-07:00

When I was very young...I went crazy over bands like Megadeth, Metallica, Skid Row!!! I have their albums and posters in my room... (google! if you don't know who they are). I was actually in luuuuurve with Axl Rose. Guess cos of her name, Rose? *flick hair*

then I moved on.

When I was younger, I took down all those posters replaced by the grunge bands. I'm soooo into the them. Nirvana, Sound Garden, Alice in Chains and I went for my very 1st concert...PEARL JAM!!! OMG OMG!!!!

then... I listened to Wilson Phillips...and that's it! Awaken the Diva in me and there is no turning back after that...I found my true music genre.

Click, til today this is still one of my favourite...

now, still young and fab my playlist in my ipod are Madonna, Natasha Beddingfield, Rihanna, Pussy Cat Dolls, ASSlee Simpson ...all in remixes.

Imagine this, Enter Sandman by Metallica (Bimbo Jones Extended Mix) ? ? ? ! ! So can not make it riiight?! Right.

xoxo

Happy 080808

2008-08-08T06:54:00.000-07:00

and Toto result is out.

and I'm not the new instant millionaire! ! ! ! ! *shriek*

I want my $4 back! ! ! !

I don't care*show tantrums*flick hair, kick, flick hair, kick*

Can I like sue singaporepools or something??? OMG!!! Annoying caaan?! $4 also take!!! Still not let me winnnnn.... eeeeyaaarrr!

Happy 080808!!!

BLLLEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

no xoxo... ANGRY!

Majulah Singapura ! ! !

2008-08-08T06:42:00.000-07:00

was listening to radio this afternoon...
miss Cornetto Lopez from Crass 95, was asking who is the composer of Majulah Singapura... a lady called in and said it was composed by Sang Nila Utama.

*faint*

Even I, a non-singaporean know that was not a correct answer, dum dum! (and it was not Dick Lee either, if he is your next guess).

It's Zubir Said... *curtsy*flick hair*

THANKS GOOGLE!!! Hahahaaa...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SINGAPORE! ! !

xoxo

Pongmeranian Must Have Tools ! ! !

2008-08-07T09:43:00.000-07:00

I just learnt to know (gosh, im old) about the way on how to be a good pongmeranian (pong: fluffy in hokkien). The new breed that now you see roaming the street recently... From Mudderland to Play Club to Taboo to Zouk to Orchard road til neighbourhood mamashop. The young and the fluffy.

Guess long straight hair like mine is the last season eh? *flick hair* Whatevs...

The Diediemusthave list are:

Moving Rubber

Hair Spray

and the DIEDIEMUSTHAVE tool or youcan'tneverbeatrue pongmenarian, a FLAT IRON

xoxo

Truly Asia

2008-08-06T21:28:00.001-07:00

Last weekend I went to KL with Miss Curry, Miss Victioria Secretion, Snelly the Snail, and ofcos Brucilinda Li who came on Saturday.

I never been a big fans of KL, guess of the similarity to home, Singapore... hmm, I don't know. Definately cleaner than Dustland but not as clean as Singapore.

But I always feel the strong connection between me and KL. Not in lovey dovey kinda way, cos the last trip I went up was 3 years ago, you know what I mean or issit cos I speak their language?? Hmmm perhaps cos Kuala Lumpur loosely transalated to bahasa, it means 'Junction, concentration or more chim confluence of Mud'

and Mud is the mother of all dust!!! and I am afterall from Dustland. I'm a proud Dustlander! My diet is dust too! Wheeeeeeee.... definately! I always have soft spot for dust.

and my dear Lord, did we ate alot of dust there or what!
Thank God, it's 0 in calorie...AMEN

They even have menu for their dust. Like, amazing riiight?! Truly Asia... *flick hair*

a dirty stall to prepare their dust
but the dust was amazing... They have specific name for this particular dust, Wanton Noodle.

and here another dust serving place...

and the dust...

Miss Secretion and Miss Curry getting ready to eat. Look! They even have sauce for you to dip your dust! Amazing, right??! I tried not to dip my dust into it...cos the sauce is 0.5 in calorie, it is not 0 in calorie *flick hair*

and more dust...

sweet dust...

liquid dust...

dust in a packet...*shriek* Amaazing!

and what fascinate me the most..they allowed pet to sit and enjoy their own meal! Unlike here in Singabore, 'No Pet' sign are everywhere. Ill...

2 Pongmeranian (pong pong hair) caught enjoying their lunch...awwwww... so sweet!

It was truly a great weekend, girls. Ohh, I want to thank our 2 good hostess, Danielle and Edie who bring us around and show the other side (not only Bukit Bintang and KLCC) of Mudderland.

xoxo

Random

2008-08-06T10:15:00.000-07:00

My brosis, Miss Alfrieda Tang asked me something that caught my attention 2 days ago...

miss Tang: Eh, how come you don't have a bf ah? You straight ah?
me: huh?! *flick hair* Where is the logic?
miss Tang: aiyah, cos when you see your straight friends who doesn't have a gf for the longest time, you asked them... eh you gay ah?
me: *shriek* I can never be a lesbionic woman! ! ! ! ! I can't even go straight when I'm driving, I can only go forward! *shriek*

anyhoo,

I'm keeping my hair long(er), everybody said I look better (read: gorgeouser, stunninger, beautifuler, chioer) in longer hair. Like, I knoww right? *flick hair*

BUT...

I have made 5 times appoinment for hair cut in 7 days and canceled it in last minute. It's crazy I knowww...urghhh! My hair is like Lion King now... wait...more like a Lioness Queen? If Disney gonna make Lion King as a non-animated movie (Sarawak Jungle, not African Jungle version) I am pretty sure they will cast me as the main star! *faint graciously* They cut cost on costume as my hair already so big and a hot mess!

hmmmfph!!!

I'm going to comb my hair 100 times and sleep...it's bloody 2am now!

Ichthyophobia

2008-08-05T09:36:00.000-07:00

Last weekend I went to a fish spa for my very 1st (and last) time.

Watched it on tv a few times about it..and I thought..hey, how bad can it be, right?

so, I try with the fishlet first... I keep telling myself, Ivana, don't be a pussy! They're tiny little fishes. Dip your feet like, NOW!

so, I did...

ehh not bad ler... it's like tiny little thingie nibbling at your feet.

after less than 1 minute, I feel like the fishes is getting BIGGER, BIGGER AND BIGGER The feeling was like, super ill! ! ! ! *flicking hair frantically*

Déjà Jaws! ! ! ! ! !

Seriously, I feel like they gonna eat up my flesh within seconds...you all know how tiny my feet is, right??! *flick hair* did I mentioned long and slender too?

anyhoo...

miss C managed to convince me to do the bigger fish...just for 30 seconds. So, I was like okay, what the heck, right? I dip my feet into medium size 'pond'. Trust me, their medium it's like the size of a minibus!

EEEEEEEEEKKKKKKK!!!

Within seconds... my whole body was in spasm. I can't take the feeling and I can't take the sight of those MEDIUM fishes attacking my delicate, tiny and ultra smooth feet! *kick kick*

I don't even finish my 30 minutes fish SPA *roll eyes* session. I am convinced that in my previous life I was really a pussy(cat) and now, I felt these tiny little fishtu (fish hantu *ghost) are taking their revenge by trying to eat me alive there n then! *faint graciously*

so...

went back and Victoria googled the fish name, Garra rufa and found it in wikipedia. Don't you just love wiki? *flick hair*

according to wiki (read: me)

They gotta keep eating cos if you are one lazy fish...

you end up

like...

this...

dust, dust nothing but dust.
ahhhhh... *nod nod*

Hmmm, dust, anybody? No, dust?

AND

If you eat enough dead skin, you become these... the fishstar!

http://photos.signonsandiego.com/gallery1.5/albums/shamu_believe/shamu.jpg

Guess where were there 2 weeks ago only??

*ding ding ding*

The fish spa! ! ! Imagine how many feet they have nibbled or accidentally swallowed right?????!!!

Now I understand why are they perpetually hungry, greedy, voracious, ravenous, starving and insatiable little fitch (fish bitch?). Cos, they need too! Even in fish's world...you gotta be a survivor. If not, lucky enough you end up as a fried dust and worst scene scenario is you still nibbling people's feet there and ultimately, accidentally step by someone *splat*

xoxo

Miss Tiffany Universe 2009

2008-07-28T21:46:00.000-07:00

OMG! ! ! *fanning myself frantically*

This is a hot messs ! ! !

I woke up and I fainted (graciously ofcourse) out of excitement when I opened CNN.com (Chaoahkwa News Network) and WHAM...

BREAKING NEWS!

Tristina won miss Tiffany 2009 *shriek* followed by 2 of *gasping for air* my super BFF of BFFs, Miss Pao Ang and Miss Victoria Secretion!

It's like...O M G !

Top 3 out of 100000000000000000000000000 (insiders said it's ten, but how may 0 are there in ten? errr... many??), yeah it's 100000000000000000000000000 (ten) contestants lerrrrr...

click click for their close-up winning smile...

left to right Miss Pao Ang, Tristina. U and Victoria.S....

and here, the winner herself, Tristina Uglilera, miss Tiffany 2009, alone, proud and fabolous... *wipping tears*flick hair*

during the interview, Tristina was asked how is her feeling and all. She answered gracefully with an elegant giggle.. 'I still can pee standing... teehee hee hee'

and guess who is the honored make-up artist of the night???

*flick hair*

ME!!!!

Remember, it's still 1-900-Iwannabeahotmesstranny

congrats, gurl! Love chu all...

xoxo

Tristina, Miss Tiffany 2009?

2008-07-27T20:38:00.000-07:00

Tristina claims that her friends call her "Tiffany" cos she looks expensive and high maintenance.

*roll eyes*

as in Tiffany&Co lerrr, like, which part ah???

but we never, we just call her Tristina Uglilera *flick hair*

after few seconds of me rolling my eyes, something dawned on me. I shrieking out loud. I think she meant she is the miss Tiffany not that Tiffany&Co.

OMG, gurllll!!! You are soooo gonna be the next year winner! ! ! You are indeed the true Miss Tiffany! *do the waving*

now, I agree with your statement. Miss Tiffany, you are expensive (chop kuku, plant nehneh, filler here filler there) and high maintenance (heels, dress, make-up, lingerie and crowns that is permanently stick to ur head?)

*shout* Tristinaaaaa is Miss Tiwannee Uniworst Two Jeelo Jeelo Naiii (2009) Naaa Krubbbbb ! ! !

xoxo

iPtui

2008-07-27T09:16:00.000-07:00

Miss Darcy Chong left this comment: ivan(a) ... did you put on makeup!?!

and this comment: yea you did! (very obvious in this pix)

I take that as compliment *roll eyes* and a pinch of salt.

FARK LAHHH!! Don't you just LOVE when people make assumptions? *kick kick*

Here, let me teach you my beauty regime *flick hair*

1. Sufficient hours of sleep... 8 hours on weekdays or less on weekends.

2. Drink enough liquid, alcohol included, lots of it.

3. Basic moisturiser i.e La Mer.

and

4. TLC Medical Practice Pte Ltd 27B Lorong Liput Singapore 277738 Tel: (65) 6462 0083.

Please! I DO NOT NEED MAKE-UP!

*flick hair*

Anno Ying, Is That Chu??!

2008-07-23T21:49:00.000-07:00

Disclaimer: This entry is nothing personal.

Have you ever experience that you see random stranger and you feel a sudden urge to b*tch slapping them.

This is happened to me... alot alot alot of times.

Seebee face stranger no.1.

1st, I noticed the hair... What's with the look? Her hair is covering one of her eye! Why don't you just wear a pirate thingie then?!!! Halloween is still in 3 months lorr or perhaps wait for few more days laah...7th month is coming what! Ptuii

why not take a clearer picture... snap snap

then I noticed her mouth and nose! She got that perpetual mocking look. She got the comeandhatemelook! OMG!!! *flicking hair frantically*

then I turn my head and saw this uncle lady's man...staring at himself using a tiny mirror... HORROR!!! What is happening???!

ohmmmm...I need to do yoga, pilates and perhaps an anger management course!!! H E L L L L L L L P ! ! ! ! !

xoxo

It's Datin Horreur's Happy Day

2008-07-22T03:39:00.000-07:00

Rexillia looking fierce! ! ! !

Rexillia's hair is a hot mess but her vest is fierce. The necklace is tranny fierceness. The make-up is super hot tranny ferocia! Tranny!

Rexillia, you are a tranny, who look like a hot mess and not in a good way. You're a tickety-tack tranny hot mess out of control super tranny from JooChiat who is not apologizing for it!

Happy Birthday, Rexillia!!!

i heart rexillia to death!

xoxo

Little Miss(un)fortunate

2008-07-20T09:03:00.000-07:00

Today, me, the ladies and Shiru decided to do something healthy for once. Despite the drizzle, dark clouds and super humid weather we all made it to ECP. It's really the case of diediemustdosomethinghealthy Sunday. Some of us decided to do roller blade and some will ride bicycle.

So we went in our designers shorts and tanktop *flick hair* 2 of my lady friends even decided to go topless in their roller blades, showing of their nehnehpok *cover eyes* That's when I suspect one of my lady friend is a man *shriek* cos she got super hairy navel area *faint*

anyhoo..this is not the whole point.

You all know how crowded ECP can get during weekends right? I believe half of the population of Singapore is there, half of them at Carrefour. Believe me... It's the fact!

Ride ride ride my bike. Suddenly few seebees (cb) decided to cross the street, so I chum break. I flew over to the front, the bike topled over and hit my back. For once, I thought..wheeee...I can fly!!!! I'm wonderwoman...ehh no she can't fly, I'm superguuurrrllllll *flick hair*

*thud*

Awwwww...cb, how come I fly only for 2 seconds. I supposed to land gracefully lerr not like this!!! I can't move. I feel like my whole body is cracking. It's sooo freaking painful and I felt dizzy. Thank God Tristina was behind me. She saw the whole thing and came to my rescue. Layla was there too with Michelle. The rest was right infront and didn't know that I fell.

I can see alot of people stopped and look at me laying helpless at the pavement. I can't decide whether they stopped cos stunned by my stunning beauty *flick hair* or becos they witnessed the nasty fall *shriek*

Few nice stranger came to my rescue. I was to dizzy to say thank you. Very very sweet of them. THANK YOU mr. Stranger 1,2,3 and etc.

Miss Li drove me to nearest A&E to get my wound check. Thank you, Miss Li. My elbow hurts like hell, my pelvis hurts like hell... I can't walk properly. I'm like 80 years old chiobu, who needs a walking stick. I have 3 bruises in my shin, one of them now is the size of 50 cents coint. Bleahhh

and my elbow is bandaged

so much for being healthy lorrr! Never ever ask me again to do healthy thing. Next time, if my lady friends decided do their healthy thing again, we do it MY way. Sit down in some cafes and have a bottle or 2 whites. Alcohol is good for body, it kills germs and bacteria. Amen!

This is sucks!!! Why oh why this is always happened to me!

Where is my painkiller, I need my painkiller!!!

Shiru Doo

2008-07-17T09:58:00.001-07:00

Shiru had a small op and as promised I tried my very best to keep her company.

I think I failed miserably... *flick hair*

with her bandaged eyes I still demand her to serve me coffe, play the dvd, do the channel surfing (plus occasional screams when I don't like the channel) and 70% of the time I'm with her I grumbled.

Poor Shiru, but then again, Shiru is a shitszhu, shitszhu is a man's best friend, in my case a lady's best friend.

Speedy recovery, Shiru!

Little Miss SunShine

2008-07-16T09:59:00.000-07:00

Nelly asked me why am I so quiet today. The answer is simple , cos I have an attitude problem. I don't talk when I don't feel like talking *flick hair*

Shiru asked me to accompany her tomorrow. The answer is simple too, depends on my mood tomorrow, cos I have attitude problem, a major one

oh, btw...fyi, Miss Shiru Ang, you are so gonna pay for my next botox! You of all people asking me to carry a mahjong table (I believe it was 1000000000kg thingie) from People's Park Centre 3rd floor down to the basement 2 carpark.

Now, I realised I have a tiny little muscle in my right arms *shrieking ohmuthafcuka* I don't even carry my own bag!!! Still can ask me...heavy or not????

which lady that you know, have a muscular arms? ohkay..dun think about miss schwarzenegger, she is a freak!!!

urghhh... jab jab jab...bye bye muscle! hellOOoooOo long and slender arm me...

xoxo

Miss Uniworst

2008-07-14T08:41:00.000-07:00

Watching miss Universe this year is painful to me. The top 5 look like those 'high class' *roll eyes* escort that you can spot easily in Singapore (think Orchard Tower). Dark coloured hair, tanned, tall and lengthy *roll eyes*

and the winner is from.... Venezuela *yawn*

I think if Pat Mok went to tan her skin, she will be prettier than her!

Bleah...

A Thousand Apples A Day Keep The Doctor Away

2008-07-13T20:04:00.000-07:00

I was really really really sick last weekend. I had the complete buffet course at The Influenza that contained fever, sore throat, cough, runny nose and ofcourse the dessert, phlegm and mucus. Damn you flu bug! CB! *kick kick* My weekend was like, totally burnt. My dancing shoes had to hide in one corner. Eeeeeek ! ! ! ! !
I saw a layer of dust on it this morning so I had it for breakfast. Simply delish!

Lay flat for 2.5 days is no joke. Doesn't even have appetite for food (read:dust). All I do is sleep, take my medication and continue to sleep and sleep. I was unusually quiet, really no mood to talk nor flicking hair. Which to most of my friends is a unnusual (miracle to them). BLEAH!

Anyway, today, I am back to my normal self *flick hair* still have to finish my course of antibiotics thou... *kick kick*

So, what am I gonna do today. Had my breakfast (dust) and what's next? Dust for lunch?

xoxo

Bleah!

2008-07-09T20:16:00.000-07:00

A: Want to meet for lunch/dinner later?

me: Sorry, I can't. I have toooo many appoinment to slot chu in *flick hair*. Next week perhaps?

A: Next week? I can't cos I won't be in town anymore.

me: Oh, Where you going?

A: I will be working in Eunos.

me: HUH?? EUNOS???

*faint*

Wahkao, I didn't know Singapore is THAT huge. Try dustland! For example, non-peak hour, normally it took 1.5 hrs journey, on peak hour it can stretches into 5 hrs journey! Bloody hell... Spoilt ler! Most of you all just so used to the super mini size of this island..

Frogden Ng

2008-07-08T22:33:00.000-07:00

Frogden Ng insisted that he looks like Daniel Wu *roll eyes* I don't know which Daniel Wu that Frogden meant... *double roll eyes*

so I search on facebook, *type type* D A N I E L W U...

ehh *gasp * this one look like him! *flick hair frantically*

let me click on the profile...

*click click*

*shrieking* OMG!!! Frogden twins is that chu????

don't you just love facebook???!

xoxo

It's Miss Kimchi Lee Happy Day ! ! !

2008-07-08T10:25:00.000-07:00

This is Kimchi Lee before he knows what is toner, hair curler, hair clip, lipstick and ofcourse, the fabolous me... She is simply classless *roll eyes*

What's with the tan, man?! Don't chu know white (read: fair) is in*flick hair*

after 10 minutes of my magic make-up skill *poof poof poof*

from kettle class

to first class

presenting AGAIN, the birthday girl... Miss Kimchi Lee!!!

Simply classy! ! ! Isn't she so gorgeous! Damn spicy Kimchi girl!! Awwww... I'm gooooood!

Saengil Chukha Hamnida, Ajuma! ! !

xoxo

It's That Time of The Month Again...Yay! Gay!

2008-07-07T09:29:00.000-07:00

Went to Porgot Something Cafe yesterday at Palais Rennaisance. It's been 2 months
since our supposedly monthly get-together tea. We should do this as planned, ladies! MONTHLY! ! !

They told us not to take picture of the place and the food. Like, Hellloooo??! So what if we did?! Snap snap snap click click click...

the pic is courtesy of miss Tioman.

Love the place, love my dust and ofcourse love my bestest, darlingestest lady friends company...